The Dreaded Muffin Top

Remember the Seinfeld episode about muffin tops that Elaine loved from the bakery? I wish that was the muffin top I was referring to today. I’ll admit, I’m hard on myself – really hard. Today is no different, I am outing myself to the world and letting you all know that I have a muffin top.

I first learned about muffin tops when I moved to Chicago about 7 years ago. I saw many women here with flabby midsections and thin legs. I couldn’t understand it – and then I explained it after I saw how much beer women drink here. I have never been a big fan of beer, so I thought I was safe. Well, the past year my muffin top has slipped over the waistline of my pants.

Sure, I can give you excuses like, I have had a c-section, or I’m getting older and my body is changing, both true and probably contributing to my muffin top; but the real reason is I have not been exercising. Sure, I’ll go for a 9 mile rollerblade, or even a long walk (6 miles), but I’m not doing those cardio activities consistently, and my strength is way down from the days I lugged my little monster everywhere or drove my non-power steering Saturn (especially when I parallel parked in a tight spot – it really worked out my triceps!).

I know this because my husband and I worked-out yesterday, the ABS Diet Workout DVD. We selected the Total Body Workout – beginner level. The first exercise we did was lunges – and let me tell you, the very first one hurt, as did all the others! While I did do all the exercises, and used 28 oz jars of peanut butter (all natural not the Crisco loaded version anymore) as my weights, I felt every lunge, squat, row, and press there was. Here’s the pitiful fact, it was only about 10 minutes long. So my husband and I decided to do the abs workout, again, beginner level. Well, we worked our obliques, lower abs, upper abs, and maybe something else – I don’t even know – I was in so much pain – and today, I felt a dull pain in my lower abs for about half the day. Again, the abs workout was only about 10 minutes in length.

I wondered why I was so sore after 20 minutes, when I can go for hours walking or rollerblading. I realized my muscles have no strength, and that if my 20-something self, or even 30 year old self, saw me now – well, I’d be ashamed of myself.

So I’m committing to myself, and to you, and to my family, that enough is enough – I’m going to regain my strength and stamina (I’ve run a full marathon and a few half marathons), and get into incredible shape once and for all. The body needs to be toned, say goodbye to the muffin top, and hello to buns of steel again! The thighs, calves and arms will be solid, defined once more. The line down the middle of the tummy will appear, and maybe I’ll see a brick or two (never have before). I’m excited, I’m pumped – and I’m willing to work hard to get the results I want. In the end, we all know the benefits of healthy, strong muscles: better sleep, faster metabolism, more energy, a toned body is super sexy, and I’m sure there are other reasons – but those are enough for me.

Of course with hard work, you need to set rewards – so I will treat myself to a much needed new bikini if I keep up a consistent workout routine for the next 6 weeks. I should see results in 6 weeks – probably won’t reach my goal, but I will definitely see progress. I’m defining consistency as strength training 3 times a week and cardio 3 times a week. Big goals, but really, it’s 30 min a day, with a day off. That’s achievable.

Anyone else ready to get healthy and toned? What’s worked for you in the past? Are you hard on yourself? How do you celebrate your successes?

Five things I am thankful for:
1. Trying new recipes - last night and tonight I made new recipes (from my recipe book that I finally put together last month) - and they were delicious!
2. Finding great job postings - after coming to the realization that agency life is just not the right fit for me, it's nice to see job postings that sound interesting, challenging, and exciting. It's really great to submit my application for consideration and know that I am proud of my accomplishments.
3. Friends who help me in my job search - there are so many of my friends that keep their eyes open, provide suggestions, and pass along my resume, make an introduction, or help me in other ways. Thank you! I am a big believer in karma, and am happy to give back directly or indirectly to you all for your kindness.
4. Another closet decluttered - we had 6 extra pillows - and a lot of dust bunnies. Only 30 minutes of shared cleaning time with the hubby and we have now conquered 3 closets, only 5 more to go (and all our rooms!). Definite progress!
5. My husband for working so many odd jobs, strange hours, interesting uniforms, and always smiling, rain or shine (literally). I don't have the patience for random, small jobs where I feel underpaid. It's been a rocky road for us since we moved in together, but we are managing to get through. I know good things will come our way, and one day, we won't have to worry as much.